My Surprise

2005-07-01T09:26:00.000-07:00

Oooh, I'm getting so excited. In less than two months I turn the big 60. Yep, I made it past the half century. Three score years are now firmly in my sights. It feels good to be growing old so gracefully. Then again, I have had a great role model in Lew. He'll be 80 soon and yet he doesn't look a day over 73!

I wonder whether Lew and the kids will throw a party for me? Judy said she was organizing something. Maybe they'll whisk me off to the Bahamas for three weeks on a beach sipping Margheritas and having my feet rubbed by young men that look like Neil Myers. Ooh, he is lovely that Neil Myers...

Then again, maybe they'll hire a hall in a stately home. Or a marquee in the grounds of a stately home. To be honest, I wouldn't mind if they just cordoned off a section of the cafe at Harewood House for a couple of hours. I'll invite Lord and Lady Harewood to join us. Now, where did I put that hat I bought for Paul's wedding? I wonder if Judy's sold it yet...

But no. I don't want them to go to all the trouble of dragging everybody out to Harewood House for little me. I'm not one for big dos. And I can't stand all the attention. I mean here I am on the right, a sizzling 21-year-old in Trieste, with Max from Holland and that Swedish boy who's name I forget. I was the centre of attention then, and as you can tell by my face, I wasn't too happy about it. Oh no! Never again...

I'm not really bothered about birthdays anyway. I mean, just because I singlehandedly organized two fantastic parties for Lew's 60th and 70th, doesn't mean he has to do anything for me. Besides, he would only get it wrong anyway. Forget the party. I'll tell Judy not to bother. And I'll get Lew to take me to Casa Mia for lunch. In fact, maybe Lew can go off and watch some rugby. And I'll have lunch with the girls.

But if they were to surprise me, you know what I would want the most? A party at home. Yep, that's it. Right in our back garden...

Lew's going to take me away walking in the Dales on Saturday, August 20, and I can't think of anything better than arriving home sweaty and tired, and finding friends and family waiting there to suprise me. If you all turned up before 5pm that would give you plenty of time to get ready for my grand arrival. And if you parked around the corner! Well, then I wouldn't have a clue that anything was about to happen!

But what about a birthday present? I hear you ask. Well, that's up to you. Shower me with as many gifts as your hearts desire. But if you are stuck for ideas, I have always dreamed of going to South America---and I have a suspicion that Lew may be planning a trip of lifetime to whisk me away! He's paying for flights and accommodation. He's even found a specialist company that will put my South America tour together for us. So, if you would like to contribute to my experience, here's what your generous donations can achieve.

For £30, I can tour the museums, galleries, and shops of Buenos Aires, Argentina. And then afterwards Lew and I can Tango the night away with the locals. (He's a good mover is our Lew--although he can be a bit sluggish around the house.)

For £25 I can take a speedboat ride up the Parana River (sounds a bit too much like pirhana for me) to see the Iguassu Falls on the border of Brazil and Argentina. And if you really want to torture me--for £50 you can put me in a helicopter and have me flown over the falls. Although I won't promise to open my eyes!

If you're feeling super-dooper generous--or you want to club together--£100 would pay for a boat ride on lake Titicaca in Peru, where I could visit the islands of Uros (which sounds a bit like the Greek God of wee to me) and Taquile (which sounds a lot better). I promise to come back with lots of photos!

Lew has even set up a "Trip of Lifetime" bank account for me with the Halifax. So, if you want to make a contribution, take down the following info: Roll No: D/43386887/8, Sort Code: 11-12-50, Account No: 00369312.

I can't believe you've read this far! Congratulations. And one last thing before I go. You know, my poor old memory is starting to give up on me. So one present I would really appreciate would be something to remember you all by. I have an inkling that Judy is putting together a Memory Book for me. She is collecting stories of things I have done, times you have spent with me--a sort of This is Our Life memento. So if you could please write or type a story of our time together and send it to Judy in the next few weeks that would be great. Judy will be presenting me with it at our surprise party.

Her address is: 56 Lauderdale Mansions, Lauderdale Rd, London, W9 1NE.

Just remember, this party is a complete surprise for me! Let's keep it that way.

I can't wait to see you there!

Do.

P.S. Please R.S.V.P. in the comments section below. Thanks.

The Secret Diary of Doreen Berger Aged 59 and 5/6

My Surprise